Work!

There is still no "official" news as to when (or if) I will be allowed to return to work. However, I had a phone call today from a colleague, who said that the temp who is covering for me has been told that she will be there for the long term and there is the anticipation that I will be working for months on a part-time basis. This is not good and yet again goes completely against the medical advise that they are being given, but because being at home is making me more depressed they are stupidly thinking that they were right in their actions. My line manager has pissed me off more than words can express and I sure as hell don't trust her any more, in fact, I really don't even want to talk to her.

So I spend each day sitting at home, brooding about how the world and his dog thinks I'm totally incapable of making decisions or even doing anything, so they are just saying the same thing that my step-father drilled into me for years as I was growing up. And if everyone is saying it then it must be true.

Still waiting

Still no news when or even if I will be allowed back to work, which is particularly interesting given the figures released late last night for World Mental Health day and published on the BBC News site. So I'm back to waiting, wondering and getting depressed again.

Update

I seem to have a date to go back, just waiting for the "official" letter.

To the sick bastard who keeps messaging me

No I will not kill myself to please you or Charlotte. If and when I kill myself it will be for my reasons, on my terms, and one thing is for certain even if I'm out of the way my husband would never go back to that psychotic bitch. After all when he had to make a decision as to who he was staying with, knowing that whoever he chose the other was likely to try to kill herself, he chose to stay with me. On that basis you could say that if he could only save the life of one of us he'd let her die. On the other hand it could be that despite her emotional blackmail saying she was going to kill herself if he didn't leave me, he knew full well that it was only a ploy to get lots of attention.

So whoever the fuck you are - BACK OFF

*Sigh*

I don't think that my marriage can be saved. My husband seems to think that he has the right to dictate the healing process, and that everything can now get back to normal. He's being his old secretive self, so I can't take it on trust that he is working when he is late home, and I'm always wondering whether his Japanese class is just a cover for something else. It's really not doing me any good at all, but I don't know if I can make the break. I still get the feeling that I don't have a job to return to, though I have finally got an appointment with the OHU doctor, so things may be a bit clearer after that meeting, at which point I can start making decisions about what is going to happen with my life. I have an appointment to see about alternate housing and the name of a solicitor who is apparently very efficient in arranging divorces quickly. Hubby doesn't know yet that I've done this (though I appreciate that he will if he reads this), and I need to find a time to discuss this with him. He will most likely go quiet and get all upset in an attempt to make me feel guilty, but I'm not going to play that game. That's what he's continually been doing to keep me under control and make me miserable, well now he can reap his reward. Unless he is prepared to change and stop treating me as a worthless commodity there is no way to get around this. So I suppose the ball is in his court.

UPDATE

Appointment with OHU doctor was disappointing for various reasons, however, on the plus side he has agreed (in line with what my health care providers have said all along) that I should be allowed back to work. Now it's in the hands of the catberts and my line manager, so I'm still in limbo.