Some people will know that I used to be a motor racing marshal until an unfortunate incident in a gravel trap left me with a badly injured knee, making track side work impossible. I still like motor racing and watch races whenever I get the opportunity and I keep as up to date as possible with the rule changes, etc.
So today I was watching Formula One on TV. It was the British Grand Prix, which I have only done spectator marshalling at (directing traffic to car parks and stopping people from lighting barbecues next to wooden grandstands). Silverstone is a lovely circuit, which was greatly improved about 10 years ago went the track layout was altered to facilitate the building of new run off areas for the race cars and grandstands for the spectators. It's still a power circuit with a sequence of fast corners leading to the main straight which terminates into the "new" complex of slower corners that were designed to increase over taking. Cars exiting the fast complex will be doing about 130 mph, accelerating up the straight to 200+ mph before breaking hard. It's the fastest part of the circuit and compares with the Parabolica at Monza or the old Tamburello at Imola - where Ayrton Senna was killed in a high speed accident in 1994. So imagine, the shock it was to see what could only described as a lunatic with a death wish (click on the image to get an enlargement) calmly jogging along this straight down toward the fast complex of corners at Becketts. The yellow Jordon that can be seen exiting the corner is doing about 140 mph and about two seconds after the picture had passed the nutter. Added to which the guy was trying to wave protest placards in front of the cars, on only one occasion did he try to get out of the way, in most cases actually moving toward the racing line of the cars. It was only the skill of the drivers in avoiding him that prevented his death, though had one of the cars hit him it would likely have killed the driver too. By the nature of that part of the circuit no marshals were sent to retrieve him until the safety car had been deployed and being in the early stages of the race with the cars were still fairly bunched up a safe gap was quickly forthcoming for the marshals to deal with him, and knowing the mentality of the marshals they wouldn't have been gentle with him, I know if I was dealing with him I would managed at least one surreptitious kick with my steel toe-capped boots. The worst thing is, this guy is only going to be charged with aggravated trespass, which his lawyers may be able to argue around by virtue of him having a ticket, but why not add on attempted murder. After all there is already evidence that a formula one car hitting a person at speed will cause the death of the driver, as Tom Pryce was killed in 1977 when he struck a marshal who was crossing the track, and F1 cars are much faster now that they were 26 years ago, plus this whole issue was discussed in 2000 after a disgruntled Frenchman breached security to make a track side protest again Mercedes-Benz.
The timing of this couldn't have been worse. The whole future of the British Grand Prix is in question, and an incident like this could be all it takes to have one of the great sporting institutions of the summer erased permanently from the calender.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Bargins galore
I had an interesting afternoon in HMV (West End today). Went up into the Classical section where I had a nice chat with the chap who works there. Despite not seeing him for over 12 months he not only remembered me also the sort of classical stuff I like, and the CD's he'd recommended to me. (wow! HMV give this guy a pay rise now.) Anyway to cut a long story sort he pointed me to some stuff that they have in from the Marco Polo label which are all being sold at £2.99, so I came away with the following;
Witold Lutoslawski - Symphonies Nos 3 and 4
Frederic Devreese - Soundtrack (Dances, Divertimenti and Preludes)
Tage Nielsen, Erik Norby, Vagn Holmboe & Herman D Koppel - Songs
Rued Langgaard - String Quartets (Double CD)
Laszlo Lajtha - Symphonies Nos 8 and 9
And as if that wasn't good enough on the bargain front I got two Permin cross stitch kits at about half the price I've seen them being sold for elsewhere. They are about 8"x 20", stitched on 20 hole to the inch count fabric and are gorgeous. All other stitching projects are on hold till these are done.
Witold Lutoslawski - Symphonies Nos 3 and 4
Frederic Devreese - Soundtrack (Dances, Divertimenti and Preludes)
Tage Nielsen, Erik Norby, Vagn Holmboe & Herman D Koppel - Songs
Rued Langgaard - String Quartets (Double CD)
Laszlo Lajtha - Symphonies Nos 8 and 9
And as if that wasn't good enough on the bargain front I got two Permin cross stitch kits at about half the price I've seen them being sold for elsewhere. They are about 8"x 20", stitched on 20 hole to the inch count fabric and are gorgeous. All other stitching projects are on hold till these are done.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
INTERCAL Game
A suggestion has just been put to me for a new variation to that old favourite Scrabble.
What if the pieces are INTERCAL keywords and you have to produce valid statements instead of valid words. Your score would depend on which keywords you use. There is no bonus for elegance.
For a final twist on scrabble you can use a dictionary to check a word while in this game you would have to explain what it does before scoring.
Maybe it should be a computer game so you can compile your statements to verify validity.
What if the pieces are INTERCAL keywords and you have to produce valid statements instead of valid words. Your score would depend on which keywords you use. There is no bonus for elegance.
For a final twist on scrabble you can use a dictionary to check a word while in this game you would have to explain what it does before scoring.
Maybe it should be a computer game so you can compile your statements to verify validity.
Hmm!
It's sort of weird but flattering when people you don't know add you to their LJ friends list. But it's even weirder when they remove you. What is it about your journal that makes them want to add you in the first place? What changes to make them no longer want to read you entries? Have you changed in the interim?
I know that with a few exception most of my stuff has been self indulgent "why me?" whinging, but since January that's more or less the process that my mind has been going through. Finding out that my mother had cancer in some ways made me more critical of friends and I have cut a lot of people out of my life. Lets face it when you trying to come to terms with the fact that a parental unit is dying a horrible death, having a self obsessed troll dismissing your feelings as unimportant, whilst making out that their desicion of whether to go to an Indian or Thai restaurant is of life or death importance, makes you realise that said troll isn't worth knowing. When they then say that it was "an attempt to cheer you up" is insulting to the intelligence. One acquaintenship that broke down was regrettable because it could possibly have been avoided if I hadn't made the choice to say enough is enough. However, given the instability of the other person, that would have only put off the inevitable, so perhaps everything worked out for the best anyway.
LJ is interesting in that you can voice all your worries, concerns, woes, etc knowing that you do have an audience, who may be supportive, though conversely they may just be saying "Oh gawd not again" and skimming over your entry. But the audience is there and by virtue of the friends page, is also available to a wider selection of people any of whom could decide that they want a front seat in our rants and wibbles. That a stranger added me to his list for some arbitrary reason and then just as suddenly decided that I wasn't interesting enough raises questions in my mind, like did this person just want to watch the increasingly depressed muttering of someone who is going through their own private hell and re-adjusting their relationships on the basis of new values? Are the postings not full of juicy enough details of debautched sex and familial arguments? But isn't this what we all want to see? Given the popularity of soap operas with convoluted relationships (Dynasty/The Colbys), improbable disasters/scenarios (Emmerdale, Dallas) and on to the later craze of "reality tv", isn't this what we all want - a chance to look into someone elses life and make judgement? But in turn with LJ (and weblogs in general) are we not holding ourselves up for judgement in the same way as the occupants of the Big Brother House? So does it really matter that someone who I have never (to my knowledge) met added and subtracted me from their friends list? Truthfully, the answer is that it doesn't matter at all, however it does generate a feeling of disappointment, i.e. if I cannot hold a strangers interest then what chance do I have of making new friends? though this isn't something that has been a problem in the past, so why should it be a problem in the future? And can the actions of one stranger be used as a weather vane as to how people in general view me?
Furthermore, does questioning the motives of a stranger, and analysing my response to their actions make me nuts? Or am I just noticing a trend of behaviour in people that is always there just so entrenched that we take it for granted?
I know that with a few exception most of my stuff has been self indulgent "why me?" whinging, but since January that's more or less the process that my mind has been going through. Finding out that my mother had cancer in some ways made me more critical of friends and I have cut a lot of people out of my life. Lets face it when you trying to come to terms with the fact that a parental unit is dying a horrible death, having a self obsessed troll dismissing your feelings as unimportant, whilst making out that their desicion of whether to go to an Indian or Thai restaurant is of life or death importance, makes you realise that said troll isn't worth knowing. When they then say that it was "an attempt to cheer you up" is insulting to the intelligence. One acquaintenship that broke down was regrettable because it could possibly have been avoided if I hadn't made the choice to say enough is enough. However, given the instability of the other person, that would have only put off the inevitable, so perhaps everything worked out for the best anyway.
LJ is interesting in that you can voice all your worries, concerns, woes, etc knowing that you do have an audience, who may be supportive, though conversely they may just be saying "Oh gawd not again" and skimming over your entry. But the audience is there and by virtue of the friends page, is also available to a wider selection of people any of whom could decide that they want a front seat in our rants and wibbles. That a stranger added me to his list for some arbitrary reason and then just as suddenly decided that I wasn't interesting enough raises questions in my mind, like did this person just want to watch the increasingly depressed muttering of someone who is going through their own private hell and re-adjusting their relationships on the basis of new values? Are the postings not full of juicy enough details of debautched sex and familial arguments? But isn't this what we all want to see? Given the popularity of soap operas with convoluted relationships (Dynasty/The Colbys), improbable disasters/scenarios (Emmerdale, Dallas) and on to the later craze of "reality tv", isn't this what we all want - a chance to look into someone elses life and make judgement? But in turn with LJ (and weblogs in general) are we not holding ourselves up for judgement in the same way as the occupants of the Big Brother House? So does it really matter that someone who I have never (to my knowledge) met added and subtracted me from their friends list? Truthfully, the answer is that it doesn't matter at all, however it does generate a feeling of disappointment, i.e. if I cannot hold a strangers interest then what chance do I have of making new friends? though this isn't something that has been a problem in the past, so why should it be a problem in the future? And can the actions of one stranger be used as a weather vane as to how people in general view me?
Furthermore, does questioning the motives of a stranger, and analysing my response to their actions make me nuts? Or am I just noticing a trend of behaviour in people that is always there just so entrenched that we take it for granted?
Friday, July 11, 2003
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Life? Don't talk to me about life.
I am so utterly fed up with life at the moment. Most people are telling me it is just a reaction to my mother having recently died but it goes beyond that. I'm just utterly sick of my life, of the same boring routine day in day out. Of having so called friends who spend all their time stabbing you in the back and then having a family that do the same.
The latest is that my mother's sister is telling me that I have absolutely no right to anything of my mothers. I wanted mums wedding ring, but I was told quite catagorically no. When I pushed I was called selfish and ungrateful. In the end she gave me a cheap thing that I would swear she bought at the market earlier that day, it certainly isn't my mothers wedding ring though I am being told that it is. I'm finding that I am being written out of the family history, mum's gravestone is allegedly stating that she is a muched loved sister and aunt but no mention of mother. To cap it all I am now being told that despite my mother naming me as the beneficiary of her pension, and the pension company saying I have a lump sum of money due to me, my aunt is telling me that I'm not entitled to it and if I accept if it the same as stealing. WTF???
Not content with lying to me about how ill my mother actually was, and trying her best to keep me away from Leeds, she is now trying to eradicate my existance. She is too busy dividing up the soils for herself and her kids. To be honest it is beginning to get to me. I'm at the point where I don't know who to trust, or indeed whether there is anyone that I can trust, and if the answer to the last bit is no one then why do I actually bother. I don't know why I don't just lock myself away and forget the whole world because because I'm sick to death of being used by ignorant selfish egotistical bastards who only seem to want me around so that they have someone who will admire them. Well I'm sorry I'm not playing anymore. In fact I don't honestly know why I have to go one living any more as it clear that I serve no purpose.
Maybe I'll feel better in a day or so but I doubt it.
The latest is that my mother's sister is telling me that I have absolutely no right to anything of my mothers. I wanted mums wedding ring, but I was told quite catagorically no. When I pushed I was called selfish and ungrateful. In the end she gave me a cheap thing that I would swear she bought at the market earlier that day, it certainly isn't my mothers wedding ring though I am being told that it is. I'm finding that I am being written out of the family history, mum's gravestone is allegedly stating that she is a muched loved sister and aunt but no mention of mother. To cap it all I am now being told that despite my mother naming me as the beneficiary of her pension, and the pension company saying I have a lump sum of money due to me, my aunt is telling me that I'm not entitled to it and if I accept if it the same as stealing. WTF???
Not content with lying to me about how ill my mother actually was, and trying her best to keep me away from Leeds, she is now trying to eradicate my existance. She is too busy dividing up the soils for herself and her kids. To be honest it is beginning to get to me. I'm at the point where I don't know who to trust, or indeed whether there is anyone that I can trust, and if the answer to the last bit is no one then why do I actually bother. I don't know why I don't just lock myself away and forget the whole world because because I'm sick to death of being used by ignorant selfish egotistical bastards who only seem to want me around so that they have someone who will admire them. Well I'm sorry I'm not playing anymore. In fact I don't honestly know why I have to go one living any more as it clear that I serve no purpose.
Maybe I'll feel better in a day or so but I doubt it.
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