Casa di Giulietta , Verona

Perhaps the strangest thing we encountered on our recent visit to Italy was La Casa di Giulietta in Verona. The house originally dates back to the 13th century but has been modified over the years including a 1930's reconstruction of a renaissance balcony. The original owners of the house were the Dal Cappella family and their coat of arms is over the arched entrance to the courtyard. The similarity between the family name and Capulet, led some to surmise that they may have been the inspiration for Shakespeare's story, however, it was during the inter war depression that the legend really came into it's own. The City Council, or what passed for the tourist board in the 1920's turned the property into a museum, began advertising the new attraction as Juliet's House in the hope that the increase in tourism would kick start the local economy, and create a few jobs. However, it has taken on a life of it's own. Visitors flock from all over the world to touch the right breast of the bronze Juliet statue (for luck) and leave messages asking for Juliet's help in matters of love. These notes are stuck to the walls in the entrance archway by means of gum which has been chewed by both partners in a relationship for maximum effect. Not to be outdone the 13th century convent of San Francesco al Corso, which by 1935 was controlled by the Civic Museums, was opened at the site of Juliet's tomb. Even here the walls are graffitied with messages and requests for help in matters of love.

Okay I confess that I paid money to go into the tomb, but I should say that the convent complex has been turned into a nice little museum/gallery and was in itself worth the three euro entry fee. However, the museum are cynically perpetuating the racket by virtue of having one room, a restoration of a complete set of mural decorations rescued from a riverside palazzo's that was demolished to make way for flood defenses, which is hired out for wedding ceremonies.

I suppose what I find most disturbing about this is that this is another example of people not being able to separate fact from fiction. Just as the Da Vinci Code has visitors flocking to Roslyn many of who are convinced that it has links with the Priory of Sion (which doesn't exist) and the Freemasons (who exist but apparently have nothing to do with Roslyn), the house and tomb have people visiting who are so blinded by their own fantasy that they not only want a fictional character to be real but they also want this figment of a dead playwright's imagination to fix their broken hearts and relationships. From an anthropological view it is interesting as this is effectively the creation of a saint/goddess together the associates pilgrimage and ritual, but on the other hand it could also be said to be a study of just how gullible people are.

Password thief about

It seems that someone is making a concerted effort to break into my blogs. Three alerts from blogger in the last hour that someone has been requesting the password for the various blogs. Now it could be someone who has got the name of their blog wrong, but given that I have three blog accounts and there has been an attempt on all of them makes that unlikely. The other alternative is that someone is trying to hack into random account and I've been unlucky, which makes slightly more sense. The third, and most paranoid, option is that someone is targeting my accounts to either see what is being said about them, in unpublished posts, to make statements in my name to make me look bad, or to lock me out of my accounts altogether. Given that someone was actually stupid enough to suggest they they could, or rather they could get someone else to, hack into my server, despite doing so is a criminal act, you can see why I could be forgiven for the paranoia. Anyway the passwords have been changed, so the accounts should be safe.

I'm almost officially a student!

Today I received my offer of a place on the Edinburgh MBA, which I am very pleased about. What I'm not please about is the mess up with funding, so I might have to defer a year because of that, which is not a very pleasing prospect. Hopefully I'll be able to work something out but having just had the expense of a long break in Italy there isn't much left in the way of savings.

Sorry doesn't cut it anymore.

I'm getting to the point where I am ready to give up on humanity. Just as I think that I've got rid of the scheming, mixing, sickos out of my life, they reappear, don't accept being blanked and then play at being innocent and wounded that you would think badly of them. If that's not enough they start putting the blame onto the very people that they have gone out of their way to hurt.

Honestly, people like that should be locked up for the safety of the wider society, because their malevolence clearly knows no bounds and like a cancer they will spread their viciousness out to the wider world infecting and destroying all that they come into contact with.

Last.fm - The replacement for MOG and the nature of friends

I've just added a link in the sidebar to my last.fm radio station. So now you can get an idea of the type of music I like. If you follow the link to my profile you can also see what music I've been playing in the last week on iTunes and if I can get the plugin working there will also be information about the stuff I pay on my iPod (there isn't that much difference). If you like last.fm and consider signing up for the service (it's free but there are benefits for paying the nominal subscription) you are more than welcome to add yourself to my friends list.

This leads me onto another topic - online friends. I find it rather odd to refer to people with whom my only contact is last.fm, livejournal, orkut, this blog etc as friends. In some cases the people are not really friends. This is not to devalue the place that these people have in our online lives, as usually when we have any kind of contact though comments or email it is because we have common values or experiences. Alternatively it could be that we are going through something that generates an emotional response in another person to the point that they want to reach out to let you know that you are not alone, or as a confirmation that they are not alone. These "friendships" can be fleeting, maybe only lasting a few days, but at times of distress and turmoil can be more important that the responses of the people who are friends in the traditional sense. This, I think, is because of the spontaneity of the response, which will always seem to be more genuine than the measured and, dare I say, expected comments from those who we share our lives with on a day to day basis. Given the flighty nature of these online friendships, I find my reactions to a de-friending as strangely un-nerving. Why does it bother me that someone I don't know has decided that our path of commonality has come to an end? The reality is that this has little or no bearing on my life, it's just a few pixels on a screen, but even so there is a sadness that someone who was listed as a "friend" has removed that tenuous connection. Perhaps in the light of the myspace generation society will reassess the nature of friendship but in the interim I suppose all we can do is observe the patterns of relationships with interest.

Finally, as the dirty whore ex-mistress or her friends seem to have stopped sending me threatening emails and the like I'm re-opening comments, though they will be moderated till I see how things are.

So much for that

MOG is a disaster! The software doesn't work, the website is a mess and the staff don't seem to be able to keep things running. I've got an alternative piece of software that I'm testing right now so that will be added soon (ish).

MOG

I've just added MOG into the side bar so you can see what music I'm playing in iTunes. Rather you will be able to see what I'm playing when I can get it verify my account, a task that is proving harder than it should.

New Start?

The new year started with wimper, many of the firework displays and associated events being cancelled due to gale force winds and torrential rain.

I thought I would use this time to review last year's resolutions and start on the new ones for this year.

So here are the resolutions and how well I did.

I will lose weight. I did okay on this one though I have to admit that much of it was from the upset over the summer. I started the year at over 16st and I now weigh in at just over 14st. Of course, this means that I have very few clothes that fit me now. Once my sewing machine is returned I'll have to start taking seams in.

I will learn to programme. Never happened. I got a few ideas as to a programming language but it just seemed to fall by the wayside as so many things do.

I will recycle more. This counts a a success but only just. I'm recycling more but I could still do better.

I will give more to charity. Again this is a technically a success, but morally I could proably have done better

I will lobby my MP, MSP and MEP on important issues. Failed miserably. My MP is a waste of space and I've become very disillusioned with the political process. Roll on the revolution.

I will spend less time gaming on the computer. Success. I'm reading, knitting, and doing needlework instead of gaming. I haven't completely cut out gaming but I'm doing less of it.

I will read more. Success. I read about twice as much as the previous year.

I will not buy anymore books until the "to read" pile has been reduced to less than a single bookcase. This started out well, and the "to read" pile was significantly reduced, so I started to let myself have little rewards, which slowed the reduction. There is only single shelf more that than the bookcase at the moment, and some of the purchases are reference books so they don't count.

I will complete at least one piece of needlework before starting another. Success. Sort of. I finished one piece then started three new projects. Then I went back to knitting

I will blog more often. I did blog more often, but there was a lot going on. The challenge is to find something interesting to say when the world around you is just trundelling on at it's own pace.


So now on to the resolutions for 2007

• I will get my weight down to about 13st (about 180lb or if you want kilos about 82.5)
• I will continue to increase the amount I read.
• I will aim to complete at least one cross stitch and one knitting project each month.
• I will build my web site.

I think that's enough for this year.

Open message to friends of the whore who tried to steal my husband.

Dear low lifes

You may think that you are helping the whore by trying to split me up from hubby but it isn't working. Even if we do split up he does not want contact with her at all. You are actually making him hate her and if anything are making our relationship stronger.

I know it takes time to keep setting up these new hotmail (and yahoo mail, etc) accounts in order to have an "anonymous" email to send messages to me, and I know that if I search the originating IP address it will just be some random internet cafe so you're spending money on this ill thought out campaign, but it isn't working. After the scene she caused whilst I was in hospital hubby reported her to the police, and I have reported her to the college. If you continue this she will end up being thrown off her course or even being arrested and getting a criminal record (we WILL press charges).

For the record I wasn't fooled by the claim that he had been paying her course fees. I have sight of his bank statements so would have noticed an amount that big going out of the account. Your little lie was completely wasted though we had a really good laugh over it.

If you really want to help the little bitch, the best thing you can do is help her come to terms with the fact that if you've been seeing someone who still decides to marry their long term girlfriend, they aren't going to break up the relationship to be with you - after all you weren't good enough to stop them from getting married so you aren't likely to be good enough to be a cause for divorce. Stop giving her false hope and in doing so making things worse for her.

Most importantly stop pestering me. Your plan isn't working and you are beginning to look like an idiot.

Happy Hogswatch!

It seems as though half the good stuff for the Christmas period has already been shown on TV, including Terry Pratchett's Hogfather which was broadcast on Sunday and Monday. Given that there was some good stuff on the box, that our existing TV was beginning to show it's age and a friend was most disparaging about it's (lack of) size in our huge living room, hubby and I decided that we would sacrifice pressies for each other and collectively spend the cash on a new 32" LCD HD ready widescreen TV. This rates as rather good. On the other hand hubby has got a cold and is coughing away and generally doing what men do when they are a teensy bit sick, ie moaning that he isn't feeling well. I had a similar bug about a month ago and despite the feeling that I really couldn't get out of bed still managed to drag myself into work each day with one exception which was when the pressure build up in my sinuses caused me to have a massive nose bleed. Even then I was in work by lunchtime, and carrying on as normal.

If also seems that we were lucky that our plans to go away for the Christmas period fell through as many flights from UK airports have been closed due to sever freezing fog. Apparently visibility at Heathrow was less that 100 metres for much of the day. If it carries on like this we'll have another definition of white christmas.

In other news I'm really struggling with all my craft projects because I have absolutely zero motivation. I've tried knitting socks but that has been more of a chore that a relaxation amd even though I've finished knitting a little donkey jacket I can't be bothered blocking and stitching together the pieces. I've a moss stitch baby blanket to finish which is driving me nuts and I've started on a stole in a cashmire silk which is beautiful to knit with, however, the pattern is a complete sod.

So everyone have a happy holiday because at the moment it sure looks like I won't

Long time no blog

There has been nothing much to say or, to be more accurate, there is nothing that I can safely say in this forum due to not so veiled threats. There is of course the closed forum where I can speak freely and name names and should the suggestion that getting someone to hack into the account to see what is being said is followed through, then the authorities WILL be notified and prosecutions for criminal activity likely to ensue.

Anyway, back to what I'm really blogging about.

Hubby is being very nice to me at the moment. It makes me wonder what he is playing at and what he is trying to hide. There is still no news on when we will be assigned to another couples councillor so we are just carrying on being increasingly distant. We had another row, this time about all the stuff he has done that has screwed up my life and how it's okay for him because my sacrifice has put him in a position whereby he can get by without me, but I'm in a position where I'm in effect tied to him because my chances of getting a high paid job flew out of the window when I quit my degree to support him. Fifteen years on and there is still no mention of his promised provision while I return to get a degree and when I asked him how we would stand if I just quit work he said he'd rather I didn't do that becasue he didn't want to be spending all his money on maintaining the apartment, etc. Nice, eh?

So last night he insisted that we go out for a meal. There is a restaurant called "First Coast" close to where we live that we keep saying that we should check out, so last night that is what we did and we really wish we hadn't bothered. As we arrived we were taken to our table, the girl just pointed to the coat rack and said "you can hang your coats there" before heading off. We dealt with our coats and were just sitting down when another girl appeared with menus and before we had even a chance to open them there was a guy there asking if we had decided what we wanted. Answer = no. What about drinks he asked. I gave him a look and hubby said we needed a few minutes. Sheesh talk about rushing you. The menu was very limited and whilst everything individually looked interesting it was so badly thought out that there was no way that you could create a meal that had a nice balance of flavours and textures. In the end we chose to just have a main meal each, hubby having the fillet steak and I had that pan fried breast of duck. Hubby said that the steak was okay though the "Sizzling Scot" (next door to "First Coast") does steak better and my duck was, at best, disappointing. It was over-cooked and tough at one end and under cooked and barely warm at the other, the beetroot mash was increadibly salty and ranged from piping hot on the surface to warm in the middle, and the vegetables were mixed between warm and chilled. It takes a special kind of incompetence to cook THAT badly in a restaurant. The guy who was rushing us came up at one point to refill our glasses, which neither of us wanted and so asked him not to. He ignored us, so hubby lifted his glass off the table. Then the waiter moved to refill my glass. I covered it with my hand. He still tried to position himself to pour the wine. I kept my hand in place. He went to lean over me to pour into hubby's glass (which was now back on the table) my hubby covered his glass with his hand. In the end I said "please do not do that we can pour our own wine if we want more" but he still hovered for a few seconds clearly not sure what to do when patron's refuse to be bullied into drinking faster that they want. It was the same waiter who cleared the table when we had finished the meal and yet again he was leaning over me and almost pushing me aside. And all this at over £20 per head. Well we said we'd check out the place and having done so have decided that we won't go there again.

Meanwhile in other news I have the job of rebuilding the website for the local knitting circle, all I need now is some input from the arty one's so that have a design for it.

Work!

There is still no "official" news as to when (or if) I will be allowed to return to work. However, I had a phone call today from a colleague, who said that the temp who is covering for me has been told that she will be there for the long term and there is the anticipation that I will be working for months on a part-time basis. This is not good and yet again goes completely against the medical advise that they are being given, but because being at home is making me more depressed they are stupidly thinking that they were right in their actions. My line manager has pissed me off more than words can express and I sure as hell don't trust her any more, in fact, I really don't even want to talk to her.

So I spend each day sitting at home, brooding about how the world and his dog thinks I'm totally incapable of making decisions or even doing anything, so they are just saying the same thing that my step-father drilled into me for years as I was growing up. And if everyone is saying it then it must be true.

Still waiting

Still no news when or even if I will be allowed back to work, which is particularly interesting given the figures released late last night for World Mental Health day and published on the BBC News site. So I'm back to waiting, wondering and getting depressed again.

Update

I seem to have a date to go back, just waiting for the "official" letter.

To the sick bastard who keeps messaging me

No I will not kill myself to please you or Charlotte. If and when I kill myself it will be for my reasons, on my terms, and one thing is for certain even if I'm out of the way my husband would never go back to that psychotic bitch. After all when he had to make a decision as to who he was staying with, knowing that whoever he chose the other was likely to try to kill herself, he chose to stay with me. On that basis you could say that if he could only save the life of one of us he'd let her die. On the other hand it could be that despite her emotional blackmail saying she was going to kill herself if he didn't leave me, he knew full well that it was only a ploy to get lots of attention.

So whoever the fuck you are - BACK OFF

*Sigh*

I don't think that my marriage can be saved. My husband seems to think that he has the right to dictate the healing process, and that everything can now get back to normal. He's being his old secretive self, so I can't take it on trust that he is working when he is late home, and I'm always wondering whether his Japanese class is just a cover for something else. It's really not doing me any good at all, but I don't know if I can make the break. I still get the feeling that I don't have a job to return to, though I have finally got an appointment with the OHU doctor, so things may be a bit clearer after that meeting, at which point I can start making decisions about what is going to happen with my life. I have an appointment to see about alternate housing and the name of a solicitor who is apparently very efficient in arranging divorces quickly. Hubby doesn't know yet that I've done this (though I appreciate that he will if he reads this), and I need to find a time to discuss this with him. He will most likely go quiet and get all upset in an attempt to make me feel guilty, but I'm not going to play that game. That's what he's continually been doing to keep me under control and make me miserable, well now he can reap his reward. Unless he is prepared to change and stop treating me as a worthless commodity there is no way to get around this. So I suppose the ball is in his court.

UPDATE

Appointment with OHU doctor was disappointing for various reasons, however, on the plus side he has agreed (in line with what my health care providers have said all along) that I should be allowed back to work. Now it's in the hands of the catberts and my line manager, so I'm still in limbo.

Humour

I found a web site with some challenging humour. Some of the cartoons like this one are very clever.

Enjoy

I've had an interesting email asking how I can be suicidal when I'm not depressed. The answer is that it's quite easy. It all depends on your attitude to death and the replacement of the word suicide with euthenasia.

Let me explain. Most people in this country are brought up to follow a Christian ideology, even if they don't practice the religion. Within this ideology there are a few aspects that mark out a culture as being civilized. Relating to this question there are two prime examples, firstly that if any "dumb" animal is suffering it is a mark of our compassion and humanity that we should euthenase the animal to "put it out of it's misery" and secondly that if someone is talking of killing themself then it is a mark of our compassion and humanity that we should stop them from taking their own life. This second option is extrapolated right down to people who have terminal illnesses that are causing them extreme pain.

As I see it these two examples demonstrate a fundamental hypocracy in the nature of western culture. How can we be civilised if on the one hand we make sweeping decisions relating to the value of life of an animal that is unable to express it's needs and desires to us yet at the same time refuse to afford the same "compassion" to other humans who can clearly vocalise their wishes? How can we be civilised if we will euthenase a sick animal for it's well being yet enforce a life of pain and suffering on other people who can express their own desire to cease living?

We are also constantly being told that the desire to end one's life is irrational, but where does this idea come from? The answer is most notably the Church as seen in the historical attitude to suicide (suicides were not allowed burial in consecrated ground as taking one's own life was seen as a mortal sin and was in fact against the law in the UK until 1961).

In other cultures and in different times attitude to suicide has been completely different as can be seen from the following article on the Mind website

Attitudes towards suicide

Suicide has occurred consistently throughout recorded history in every cultural and social setting. However, attitudes towards suicide have varied widely in different ages, cultures and societies.

In ancient Greece and Rome, suicide was generally seen as an honourable or heroic form of death. Eleven instances of suicide are mentioned in the Old Testament: these are reported simply and are given no negative connotations. One of the most famous examples of suicide was the mass suicide of Jews at Masada in 73 AD. This was generally perceived to have been an honourable action to avoid falling into the hands of the defeating Roman Army.

In the early years of Christianity, St Augustine (345-430 AD) pronounced suicide to be a 'mortal sin'. A century later, the Christian Church prohibited the saying of masses for the souls of those who died by suicide, and they were denied burial in hallowed ground. The last recorded 'unhallowed' burial of a suicide in Britain occurred as late as 1823.[59]

In Japan, the Samurai had ritual codes for different methods of suicide which would bring them 'death before dishonour'. Even in modern Japan there is little stigma associated with suicide, an example being the suicide of writer Yukio Mishima.

Within the Hindu faith, although there appears to be a general taboo against suicide, particularly among men, the idea of 'altruistic' suicide is acceptable, and there is a historic tradition associated with bereaved women, particularly widows, committing suicide.

As recently as the 1950s, people in Britain were still being sent to prison for attempting suicide. The 1961 Suicide Act repealed the law under which both actual and attempted suicides were held to be criminal acts. England and Wales were the last countries in Europe to decriminalise suicide. The word 'suicide', itself, has the implication of being a criminal act, literally meaning self-murder.

In Britain, at the beginning of the twenty-first century, with suicide no longer considered a crime, church membership at an all time low, a general loosening of moral prohibitions, and an emphasis on personal freedom, suicide or taking one's own life appears to be more socially acceptable than ever before. Certainly, there would appear to be fewer moral and psychological obstacles standing between people and the act of suicide.

There is of course also the negative publicity that is given to suicide bombers. Rather than looking at what motivates people to give up their lives whilst striking a blow at their enemies (whether real or perceived) we are confronted with media attitudes that demonise them as being psychotic. Yet if we look at the video tapes that are invariably left behind these people show a rationalism for their actions that is based entirely in their belief system. There will, of course, be much argument as to whether the belief system is right or wrong and the morality of the methodology, but that argument is one of politics and only time will determine the long term attitudes to groups who are currently seen as terrorist organisations (after all the N. Ireland assembly has as an elected official someone who was imprisoned for terrorist acts and Hamas are the democratically elected representatives of the Palestinian people. The former Premier of Israel, Menachem Begin, was a wanted terrorist as was the Defense Minister, Moshe Dayan). The point I want to make about it is that the negative media means that just using the word "suicide" makes people think in terms of fanatics so that even terminally ill patients who want to die with dignity are treated in the same way (i.e psychotic fanatics).

Now we are in a new age where people are looking at taking full responsibility for their own lives and it is my belief that this should include the right to die without judgement or interference.

Chaos Abounds

I've started a new blog called Chaos Abounds. It's not really a blog but a place where I can play with the blogger templates to get the look and feel I want without messing around with the main blog and completely wrecking everything. I've left the comments on the new blog open so I can get feedback on the look of the layout, please don't comment on anything else there. I've also stopped commenting on this blog for the time being. As I moderate all comments people are not seeing the amount of spam commenting that I'm currently getting, not to mention the hate comments that are telling me to hurry up and kill myself so that hubby and the bitch "can be happy together". I don't need that crap right now. The few people who are really concerned and are actually giving support have my email address and are more than welcome to use that to send comments. Hopefully the sad, sick individuals that are trying to get me upset again will get fed up and crawl back into their sewer.

Hamster seriously injured in high speed crash

The speed freaks out there will have no doubt already heard this.

Richard "Hamster" Hammond has been seriously injured whilst filming a piece for Top Gear. Apparently he was attempting to break the British land speed record at the former RAF base at Elvington nr York when the jet powered car crashed at high speed (in the order of 300 mph). Early news indicated that the vehicle was upside down and that when assistance arrived Hammond was unconscious, though later editions state that he was drifting in and out of consciousness. He was transferred to the Neurological Unit at Leeds General Infirmary (where I worked in Medicine for the Elderly until transferring to Jimmy's in 1989) and his condition , which was originally given as "critical" has been revised to "stable".

It's a sad day as he is one of the true motoring enthusiasts, and it is likely that this will be the end of Top Gear.

Blog changes

I've made a couple of changes to the blog. The main title and about from the sidebar have been swapped as it didn't make much sense the way it was. I'm also looking at changing the template as I really don't like the existing blogger template, but it was, as they say, the best of a bad bunch. I'm not guaranteeing that the changes will be any time soon. I'm notoriously bad at design so the arty bit could take a very long time.